Wesley Spengler: Second Life Manifesto

Wesley Spengler: Second Life Manifesto

March 2010

Profile Picks, Second Life 2.x Viewer

I was recently modifying my Picks list in Second Life. Many people use Picks to recognize special friends, or often times to tell people off. For a time, I had some stuff in there myself, expressing my views on some things, and decided instead to take a little more time, a little more space, and write what I really wanted to say that I couldn't say in a simple Picks tab.

As of this writing, I've been hanging around in Second Life for four years and a month. In that time, I've had the great honor and privilege of meeting scores of people who have made my life (the real one) a better place. Many friendships I've made in Second Life have transferred to real life (you all know who you are), and introductions made through Second Life connections have quite literally changed the very nature, substance and course of my life. On balance, my experience in Second Life has been amazing, and it's why I still log-in almost daily after 4+ years.

But in that time, I've also discovered that Second Life, like real life, is a mixture of people with differing objectives, desires, scruples, flaws, dreams, levels of honesty, etc. But what makes Second Life different from real life is the fact that there is a perceived layer of anonymity. You have a different name, you have a different look, nobody knows the "real you," and therefore, you have a perceived license to behave differently—and often badly.

While I understand and respect that some people in Second Life enter its virtual world for reasons of fantasy (perhaps to explore feelings or desires that they can't or won't explore in real life), I find it useful to remember that behind each avatar, each three-dimensional cartoon visage, lies a real human being with the same differing objectives, desires, scruples, flaws, dreams, levels of honesty, etc.

Wesley Spengler, March 2006

I once read in someone's Second Life profile (sorry, I can't remember who it was), something along the lines of, "I don't think that most people intend to hurt you; they just don't intend not to." I have no idea where they got it from, or who might have originally said it, but I found it to be a particularly insightful commentary about humanity in either life.

And while I do generally believe that line, I also find that both lives (real and Second) are rather chock-full of dishonest, lying, manipulative, often childish, deceitful, mean-spirited, self-centered bastards who couldn't give a flying shit less about most other people. And that "license to behave differently—and often badly" that I mentioned earlier? It certainly seems to present itself statistically more often in Second Life.

I just wasn't raised that way. I'm not old enough to think of myself as "from a different generation," but I guess I am. I was raised to respect others. I was raised not to lie to people. I was raised not to take advantage of others. And a lot of the time, I feel profoundly alone in that.

I am no more jaded or bitter about this in Second Life than I am in real life (which admittedly is fairly jaded and bitter). But I have:

Been blantantly lied to, misled, undermined and/or intentionally deceived more times than I can count, either outright, or often by someone pushing some big, new idea for which they want my help, but for which nothing is ever returned.
Been on the receiving end of what I think are best called "errors of omission"—sometimes innocent, often not ("Oh, didn't I mention that? My bad!")—on an almost weekly basis.
Had people become friends in real life, only to lie to me there too, and then morph into a new avatar with a new name and think I'm not smart enough to figure it out and make the connection.
Had more than my share of childish "tit-for-tat" games ("You don't want to be in my group anymore? Then I'm banning you from my land!!!").
Been taken advantage or just plain "used" by people on numerous occasions, most often by people who want to leverage my name, leverage my influence, or co-opt my friends or fans for their own purpose.

Frankly, being in Second Life reminds me in a lot of ways of recess in grade school. Except there are no teachers admonishing little Jimmy and little Bobby to play nice, or suggesting to little Sally that kicking little Tommy in the nuts is not acceptable behavior.

But I think the worst offense is that there is so little respect for the fact that the activities I partake in within Second Life are—for me—not some sort of hobby, not some joke, not "play time," and not "just for fun." Of course I enjoy it, or I wouldn't do it. But that doesn't mean I don't take it seriously, or that the basic rules of social interaction and respect don't apply. Instead, Second Life is generally a free-for-all. Behave however you want, fuck everyone else, and damn the consequences, because we're just avatars in a game, right?

No, not right. I make no secret of who I "really" am in Second Life. My real, full name is in my profile. So is my picture. My voice is on-mic every time I DJ online. If you know me in Second Life, you know me in real life. I can be funny, flirtatious, warm, sometimes moody, silly, and often times, a lot of fun.

But, I take what I do seriously. Which is why I get so angry and disgusted when people in Second Life seem to thumb their nose at me, my work, my sense of pride, my sense of commitment—in short, my sense of values and morals... When people disrespect me, disrepect what I do, disrepect the value of my time, disrepect the value of my work, disrepect my life partner, disrespect my opinion, disrepect my feelings, or who seem to think that basic courtesy doesn't matter behind the little 3D cartoon "mask" we all wear in Second Life.

So to you who do that, I have this to say:

Just because Second Life is some sort of fantasy joke, some sort of escape from whatever shitty real life you have, or some kind of alternate reality for you where the rules no longer apply—doesn't mean it is for me, and it does not give you a license to treat me like shit and disrespect me, my work, my time, my partner, my opinion, or my feelings.

And just like I do in real life, the people who treat me that way are quite likely to get disconnected from me as easily as I unplug an unwanted appliance and throw it in the trash. I don't have time for shitty people, shitty games, or shitty behavior. And those that fit any of those descriptors are dead to me—plain and simple.